Badfreednd

  i am alive again heart beating in strange rhythms electric company and laws of attraction i am aware now of feelings once carved away of magnetism and ancient laws i want everything, so i must choose options weighted towards the pull of currents pure and true camaraderie and making time well spent together, speechless drawn towards staying, but going instead finding fences with my eyes closed it is ok to want, it must be to be seen and to be held in caring arms without malice while fire burns, steady and warm together in the ways that are possible it is enough to feel the eyes of another with wings and joy and recognition in moments spared between everything to be seen and met with gladness an oasis on a dying world let the stars watch us linger they have time enough for all flesh creeps in and envelopes bone in feeling cold hands in hot water flee the sensation but it is far too late for that the soul tastes being and is set ablaze enthused fires dance in possibility the future ...

ghosts don't see nothing in the half light peers waiting, i'll join them eventually dim is dim is dim is dim is dim squinting into darkness summons monsters would you rather see or not? azure drapes to hide the port holes the sunshine makes demons turn acrid acid thoughts flood miles of nerves i am going on and on stoppings the only thing that scares me more momentum bleeds from contented hearts getting stuck was the easy part sold my soul on clearance to lighten the load i couldn't give it away spinning wheel alternatives gave me something to do i chase horizons to the hills in the dead of night i grow another face illusory doubles joined at the brain imbibed alibis sing it to sleep, he is mine do not look upon my bloody claws, you'll find no context there only wretched whimpers and arterial curses cannot and will not are semantic in the opening of veins blood flows regardless, and i have not stopped myself hidden hunger lashes outwards into open air i am seen the yowl...

 

 

what is the word? for the thing you would say, but can't?  what is the verb? it must be short like exhaled frustration like missed chances, but smaller take chances and make change divide it by a 100%, leave the resin on the blade  let the light shine through it in it's shadow is the word i seek but i do not see well in the dark my eyes smear the light into cosmic puddles my mind sorts the things into dangerous andnot and i am, again, thinking of the thing i can't say it will not leave me it clings to my insides, and i am ashamed failed bravery is not bravery when does one become a coward? i did not know the name of the thing which -dragged me downward only that i could not swim down, down, down to the dusty floor where the darkness can break bones  and it presses towards the core where even stone can't hold itself to the burning, furnace place where devils sleep cruel voices to load you down and keep you you are yours alone they say, you are free you have broken from t...