drew

some of this is true

i have begun drawing again.

i have been drawing for as long as i can remember. it has lived in my hands for a very long time now. it is old, and out of practice, and undeveloped, but it is mine. another voice, hoarse and unsure. i feel how it once felt. something to do with my hands in class, when i could no longer make them laugh. when they said to be quiet and i was young and bursting at the seams. it is hard to be young.

i remember the journey of a doodle. familiar shapes become unfamiliar. slowly over time, but quickly too, in ways that are hard to describe. like sliding, but in your brain, and with a pencil. tactility and movement.

the sliding became practiced, and i could call on basic forms.

humanity has a knack for seeing faces, and that is wonderful. i approximate them, their curves marked by the aching in my hand, and my tired fingers. those are my marks. i was here, in a small way, and this can travel through time.

i got older, and my hands grew still and i stopped making things because i had things to do. something, anything, don't stand still or you'll have to face down the longest stretch of road. the thing you'll do now. there is certainty in planning, there is anxiety too. foresight is a beautiful curse.

i have begun drawing again.

i am no better than i was, but also not worse. i am in shambles, but i am getting better. i am trying and failing, but i am doing. and it is in the doing that i am feeling joy.

i think i made light.

i'm gonna go watch halloween havoc 1997*

happy halloween

*one of my favorites, maybe one of the best of all time. then over the garden wall, this might be my new haloween ritual.

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skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllssssssssssssss

i am going through the old school primer for a book club at the cauldron , it talks about using skills it has me thinking about skills. i thought he had a beard i think skills are, primarily, for the player, they are the handholds on a rockwall, something to give you grip when coming up with solutions. they are player tables, it can just be a list: heres one for one d six too many and they become a wall, a little dab will do ya, different flavors of action and styles of motion this adds tactility, it becomes something the player did when they ask the gm if their climb skill helps them. its another way to interact with the world, which can do wonders for creativity. equipment is setting is advice i heard a long time ago and have gotten so much use out of i love building equipment tables, they do so much work as far as vibes. and very specific equipment is no different than a skill, you just gotta carry it. skills are players mind equipment, they are gummy and recyclabl...

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a fungus grows in my brain. it is in love with me. i do not know if i love it back. it coos at my bones while i visit the dreaming, a wonderful, seductive place, and my creaking bones are alive and pulsing. defiant to the end of the world. of their world. of my world. there is life in moments, it ripples through a sea of time, of change, of permanent impermanence. the odds were in my favor, and still i cannot win, through worlds but always endings, a smoke trail of cosmic cinders blinds me to the past. such vastness is not easily accessed, it must be traveled to over days and months and milliseconds. one more year, perhaps a few thousand more, i do not know, times tolerance is diminished. the sea rages, and this skeletal vessal creaks and moans. calcium is resiliant and beautiful and timeless oh godess thee, who carries pain, let me lighten thy load, for i am able, and i am willing, and let me feel while it can be done, and though joy is often out of reach, time ...

i started my dungeon for the dungeon jam

starting over, but not from scratch heres what i have so far, see what you can make of it, find the png here https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lkEckeoP4gvIQ6YAn8TeX9fwk3MRy1zR/view?usp=sharing the dungeon jam is here https://itch.io/jam/puzzle-dungeon-jam oh no, my layers are poorly organized and i already spotted a problem. . . and so it goes, forever. . . if you end up making something, and you're feeling generous, i'd like to see it. heres after another expedition *Mv#. . . the key is coming together and the image is clearer, that is enough for tonight i have made great strides today just finished running the dungeon for my group, it still needs work, but it is pruning not growth. ... i completed the dungeon, and i have decided to start again. the dungeon i made was big and weird and not much of a puzzle, more of a weird place to explore. there is a lot i like about it, and there is more i'd like to add, the adventure, i think, is bigger than four page and i'd like ...

Badfreednd

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