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names and places



what is the word?

for the thing you would say, but can't? 

what is the verb?


it must be short

like exhaled frustration

like missed chances, but smaller

take chances and make change

divide it by a 100%, leave the resin on the blade 

let the light shine through it

in it's shadow is the word i seek


but i do not see well in the dark

my eyes smear the light into cosmic puddles

my mind sorts the things into dangerous andnot

and i am, again, thinking of the thing i can't say


it will not leave me

it clings to my insides, and i am ashamed

failed bravery is not bravery

when does one become a coward?


i did not know the name of the thing which -dragged me downward


only that i could not swim

down, down, down to the dusty floor

where the darkness can break bones 

and it presses towards the core

where even stone can't hold itself


to the burning, furnace place where devils sleep

cruel voices to load you down and keep you

you are yours alone they say, you are free

you have broken from the world, fallen in 

and there is no way back

and it is easy to believe what you cannot stop


and there, in the burning sea

where the air is always ringing

came the light of the sun

through holes dug in time soaked abscence

i am here says the drowning man

i am here, and i'm waiting,

but there are words i can't say,

and i don't have the words.




 



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